


Double Chocolate Therapy

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Everything After [10]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 04:05:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Except it wasn’t young Erin sitting across from him.  It was nearly 50 year old Erin.  And he was still on fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Double Chocolate Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going forward but went a couple of days backward to write this story. Valentine’s Day is over and I don’t even like it but these characters often do.

“You don’t know how grateful I am that I can smoke in here.” Erin exhaled. “Sometimes…”

“Sometimes what, Erin?” Dr. Nicholas Webber leaned back in his chair and crossed his leg.

“A part of me wants to say sometimes it’s all I have but that’s not true. It’s not true; I have so much.”

“Are you feeling like you don’t have anything?”

“No.” she shook her head.

“Tell me how you feel today. Tell me how you feel right now.”

“Better because of this cigarette.” Erin replied smirking.

“Erin…”

“I've been busy with work. I'm getting used to being back and being very busy is a good thing. But I'm also getting used to pulling back and being done.”

“What do you mean by that?” Nicholas asked.

“I mean sticking to my new rule to leave Quantico by six. Sometimes it’s impossible but not because I don’t try. I love my job, I always have, but I can't let it consume me anymore. The job doesn’t consume, it devours. It nearly killed me the last time.”

“How do you stop yourself from overworking?”

“This might sound ridiculous but I schedule other things.” Erin replied. “On Monday I work out and have dinner with Candy. On Tuesday I come here and on Wednesday I'm with my kids. Actually Thursday is the one night I allow myself to be there late and its never past 8 o’clock. On Friday I head out for the weekend. For the first time in a long time I'm putting special value on the weekends.”

“You have your children on the weekends?” Nicholas asked.

“I only see them every other weekend.” She grabbed her purse. “Look, last weekend we went ice skating in Arlington. I was shocked that MK wanted to come along.” Erin handed him a picture. “She didn’t want to stay overnight so I took her home after dinner. But I'm glad she came to hang out.”

Nicholas looked at the picture. To the naked eye, it looked like a happy mother and her three happy, beautiful children. Airbrush it, add gloss and it was a Ralph Lauren or Tommy Hilfiger ad. They were all ready for their close-up. But if you looked deeper you could see the cracks. 

Mary Katherine was a beautiful but unhappy child…her smile never made it to her sky blue eyes. Nora had one arm protectively around her little sister and the other lovingly around her mother. That put her in the center of a deep, shark-infested ocean. Her smile was more hopeful than happy; she hoped they would all survive this. Ted looked like an open boy who loved life. 

He was perfectly content in his mother’s arms and looked fond of his sisters. They were three children who grew up in the same home with the same parents and the same dysfunction. Three very different faces stared back at Nicholas. The family dynamic would never cease to be fascinating. Almost all forms of psychology, from Kane and Abel on, could be traced back to it. He’d been an addictions specialist for nearly 20 years and family was a very big part of what he did.

“They look great, Erin.” He handed the picture back.

“They're growing up so fast.” She replied. “Here I am trying to be mom and soon they won't even need one.”

“Children always benefit from a positive maternal influence. Just because they’re not children anymore doesn’t mean they aren’t your children. And I believe they're still children…Nora is barely seventeen.”

“I know.” Erin nodded.

“Are you and Mary Katherine speaking more?”

“No. I mean we talk a bit but there doesn’t seem to be much progress. Candy tells me I shouldn’t push so I don’t. I just keep myself open. She comes to more Wednesday dinners and that makes me happy.”

“Did you talk to her more about your alcoholism?” Nicholas asked.

“Beyond the initial outburst she doesn’t seem to want to talk about it. I asked Nora if her little sister talked to her and she said no. My fear is that she's talking to Eli and he’s telling her horrible things about me. Dammit, I wish he would just play fair.”

With one more deep inhale, Erin leaned and put the cigarette out. She sat back on the couch for a moment and let the poison course through her veins.

“I'm going to have to face that shit, aren’t I?” she asked.

“Do you care to be more specific?” Nicholas countered.

“I'm going to have to confront Eli. Well, confront is probably the wrong word because when I think like that it just involves me hitting him in the back of the head with a brick before rolling over him with my car.”

“Assault charges are probably not the best idea right now.”

“No,” Erin shook her head wearing a sad smile. “I definitely don’t need that. But we need to talk and I'm thinking I can't avoid it much longer. I really want to avoid it though.”

“How well does avoidance work for you?” Nicholas asked.

“Are we talking with or without the vodka chaser?”

Nicholas smiled some. That snarky sense of humor had gotten Erin through a lot of this. She’d lost it a long time ago as she climbed up the ladder of greatness at the FBI. She’d brushed it aside as the seriousness of keeping up the picture perfect façade of home, work, and self became her top priority. Her priorities had changed recently, for the better, and she was going to need the sense of humor. It would be an umbrella for the sometimes intense shit storm.

“We’ll have a long talk about the past, present and future with Eli during your next visit.”

“Eli Strauss for Dummies.” Erin mumbled. “Wow, I can't wait.”

“We’ve got about ten minutes left, Erin. Tell me something positive.”

“I haven’t had a drink in 146 days.” She replied touching her St. Monica medallion. “I don’t have anything to say more positive than that. There’s going to be a sale at Bloomingdale’s this weekend so surely Candy and I will buy shoes we don’t need. I need a little Louboutin therapy…no offense to what I get here.”

“None taken.” Nicholas said.

“Oh, and Nora got her acceptance letter from Barnard so we’re all ecstatic about that. She’s walking on air, and even though New York is really far I am so proud of her.”

“Are you still seeing David Rossi?”

“Yes. He's in California working so I haven’t seen him for a few days. I want him back for my birthday this weekend but I'm not telling him that.”

“Why not?”

“Are we out of time?” Erin asked.

“Not quite. There's time for one more question.”

“I want him back so I won't be alone. I mean it’s more than that…I want to be with him.” she sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it. There are so many other plates in the air; not David, not right now.” Erin held up her hand.

“That’s fair enough.” Nicholas nodded and got up from his chair.

Erin was once again in her purse, this time for her checkbook. She had excellent health insurance through the federal government but her visits still had an $85 co-pay. It didn’t matter to her. If she couldn’t have Dr. Susan Lowenstein, which she couldn’t since the woman only existed in the mind of Pat Conroy and the body of Barbra Streisand then Nicholas Webber was the next best thing. 

Being alone with him and all of her mistakes beat a room full of people declaring themselves alcoholics any day. AA and various support groups helped so many; Erin would never deny that. She just knew that environment wasn’t for her. Standing, she put on her scarf. She went over to the coat rack, grabbed her coat, and Nicholas net her halfway. He handed her an appointment card for next week, Erin handed him a check.

“Do you have plans tonight?” he asked.

“A single girl dinner, a movie that makes me cry, ice cream, and a bubble bath. My social life is quite happening right now.”

“It can be anything you want it to be, Erin.”

“If you say that enough I might begin to believe it.” she replied.

“Good.”

Nicholas smiled as he put his hand on her shoulder and they walked to the door together.

“You have a good evening Erin and I’ll see you next week.”

“Thank you.”

She squeezed his hand once more, walked out the door and down to her Beamer. It was dark and the McLean neighborhood was quiet except for crickets, a few cars, and a light but steady rain. She climbed into the metallic red 650i coupe and cracked a window. Before starting the ignition and filling the car with the voice of Debbie Harry, Erin lit a cigarette. 

A patch was probably in her near future. While the smoking hadn't reached dangerous proportions, it had tripled since she quit drinking. On therapy night Erin might smoke nearly half a pack. Most days she liked to keep it under five…under three if possible. Switching one dangerous addiction for another was not a good plan.

The tears came next. She wasn’t sobbing, thankfully, but there were frequently tears. Erin could handle it but that didn’t mean she wanted to. She wasn’t a crier, had never been. The last time she cried this much was when she lost her father. 

If she was honest, the drinking started to get worse then. He was always her comfort, her safety net. She loved her mother but Erin Strauss was a daddy’s girl. No matter what, Erich was there for her. 

He was a phone call away at all times. The world stopped turning when his baby girl needed him. And she watched as that strong, brilliant, wonderful man was eaten away by cancer and in the end overmedicated so the pain would just end. Hers had only just begun. 

She shook her head. No way in hell could she think about that right now. _OK, Erin_ , she told herself, _come on back. Come back to your car and your cigarette and your tears. Don’t go too far back_. She inhaled deeply, exhaled, and then took a deep drag of her cigarette. 

The phone rang as she pulled out of the parking space. Since it was hooked into the car, the music stopped. Erin smiled when she saw who it was. He was just what she needed right now…it was like he knew when to reach out. She was smitten and her brain was at war. 

The rational part of her said there was enough going on and she didn’t need lust. The small paranoid part said Rossi was working under directive from Aaron Hotchner and was hell bent on destroying her. Oh well, turnabout was fair play in their line of work. The needy part of her just said _more, more, more, oh God David more_! 

Then there was regular Erin, who’d been lost in the mire of everything and a vodka tonic for the past decade. She just wanted to be held, touched, desired, talked to, and loved. It had been so long since she’d felt those things. With Dave she felt them in abundance. How could that ever be wrong?

“Hello.” 

“Hey there.” Dave smiled when he heard her voice. “Guess where I am right now?”

“If you say Hawaii I won't like you very much.” Erin replied.

“I'm in Quantico.”

“Really?” she did her best not to sound thrilled but wasn’t sure she pulled it off.

“Mmm hmm. I was consulting the calendar and happened to notice the date.”

“I don’t care about things like that.”

“You have something against Tuesdays now?” he asked.

“No.” she laughed.

“Well how do you feel about medium well filet mignon, lobster, mashed potatoes, and asparagus? I can get us a great dinner from Charlie Palmer Steak.”

“They don’t do takeout, David.”

“Not usually, no, but I have no problem pulling a marker or two for a special occasion. After dinner we can curl up on the couch for a movie. If you don’t fall asleep in my arms, which would suit me fine I might add, then we can end the night with a candlelit bubble bath and a little massage oil.”

“What woman in her right mind would say no to that?” Erin asked. She was nearly breathless.

“You're not always in your right mind.” Dave replied. “I still want you to say yes.”

“Yes, David. Absolutely, positively yes.”

“Good then. Are you home?”

“Tuesday is therapy night. I'm heading back from McLean now.”

“Are you alright?” Dave asked.

“Yes.” That answer was easiest at the moment.

“Anything you want to tell me?”

“There's a lot to say but it’s probably better face to face.”

“I'm a big fan of face to face.” He said.

“Good. Then I should see you in...”

“I’ll be to you in less than an hour. I'm almost in my car now.”

“Will you bring dessert too?” Erin asked.

“You just have to tell me what you're craving.”

She laughed and that made Dave do the same thing. When the sweet, melodic sound came from her belly it made him want to kiss her until they both saw stars. Then he wanted to lay her down and make the softest love to her. Waiting was hard, but he would respect her journey. She let him be there and that was enough.

“No comment, Agent Rossi.” She said as the giggles subsided. “I think I’ll let you go with your gut on this one.”

“It hasn’t failed me yet.”

***

A dozen purple and lavender roses took her breath away. Dinner was amazingly prepared; Erin relished every morsel and didn't want to think about the cost. Dave also bought her favorite green and black raspberry flavored tea to drink. There was something awesome about being able to enjoy it in a pair of grey yoga pants and an oversized Barnard sweatshirt.

Sometimes it took more energy than she had to dress up and be public Erin. This was comfortable; it was nice. They held hands across the table, smiled, talked, and she enjoyed every moment. Going with his gut, Dave bought two big slices of double chocolate cake with butter cream icing. He’d gone to Potomac Pastries, which was one of Erin’s favorite bakeries.

He watched her eat it, every bite, as he enjoyed his slice. Damn, it shouldn’t be so sexy to watch a woman eat. Or maybe he just shouldn’t be so taken with Erin Strauss. Dave had honestly tried to go back in his mind to loathing her. He really had. 

They had their moments over the decades; times when he truly hated her guts. The feelings were mutual so it wasn’t as if Dave felt bad about it. Where he was right now, where his heart and head were living, he couldn’t go back and find those times. He wanted to hold her, love her, and protect her. He wanted to be with her and feel every emotion she conveyed. 

She was the same woman but she was different. This Erin was like the one he knew first. She was strong and tough and brash when she needed to be. But those traits hadn't taken over the curious, smart, snarky woman yet. 

Young Erin intrigued him…she turned him on. And Dave Rossi was on fire. Except it wasn’t young Erin sitting across from him. It was nearly 50 year old Erin. And he was still on fire. 

Dave insisted on cleaning up after dinner and dessert. Erin protested, which made him laugh, but then she relented. She went over to the couch, curling up with an oversized pillow and her cat. Soon he was with her and they were watching _Two for the Road_. It probably wasn’t the best idea to watch a movie about a crumbling marriage. At least it had a halfway happy ending; or more like a hopeful one. 

And the truth was Erin wasn’t paying that much attention. She was somewhere between falling asleep and being a naughty girl. Dave was behind her, his back against the couch, and they were spooning. His hand rubbed her stomach, content from the amazing meal. Occasionally his fingers slipped past the elastic of her yoga pants but he made no move to go further. He just rubbed and played as the movie went on.

“How would it look if I slept on my couch tonight?” she asked.

“This is a comfortable couch.” Dave replied. “I wouldn’t mind sleeping on it.”

“So you’d stay?”

“Stay and hold you all night? It’s a no brainer, Erin.”

“Are you sure your back will be alright?”

She turned and wrapped her arms around him. For a while Dave just held her close. The feel of her body pressed on his was amazing. All of her curves fit into the spaces that had been empty for so long. He couldn’t help but run his hands down her body. When she shivered against him, Dave’s body reacted.

“We can move to the bed.” he whispered, his face close to hers. “No games, just some amazing sleep after a nice night.”

“Tonight was more than nice.” Erin softly kissed his lips.

“It was the cake wasn’t it? I thought the cake would take it over the top.”

Erin laughed. She kissed him again, cuddling closer. Dave held her tighter. When she wrapped her leg around him, Dave sighed.

“I should probably get some rest. I mean, we should. The movie isn’t over yet but I'm going to need a full night’s sleep.”

“OK, bedtime.” He kissed her nose. Grabbing the remote, he turned off the movie and then the television.

Erin got off the couch and held out her hand for Dave. He took it, kissing it gently. They walked into the bedroom together. She smiled and undressed him down to his tee shirt and boxers. In bed, they held onto each other in the dark. Dave laughed as Sasha walked over him and then snuggled in the space between their two sets of legs.

“She's crazy about me.” He said.

“She's a good judge of character. She hisses when Eli is on the intercom.” Erin said laughing.

“Good girl.”

“Goodnight, David.”

“Sweet dreams.” He replied.

“I think they will be.”

***


End file.
